Back to the Few Chewer

A time traveller from the Year 2000 arrives in the present day

"First of all, September 11... that is crazy. For real. That is... I cannot believe that happened.

"Secondly, what the crap did y'all do to Britney Spears?!??!? She was an innocent, perky young pop singer with a few big hits! And now she's... damn... what happened??"

"We finally attacked Iraq eh? Well that's been on the cards for a while.

"And hey, so Saddam Hussein is in jail. Wow. Did not expect that.

"So let me get this straight - I'm just updating my VHS collection into these new-fangled 'DVDs', and now you're telling me that I have to buy them all again on "Blu-ray"? Why?

"Can someone please explain to me what the hell happened to make Justin freakin' Timberlake into the world's biggest pop star? And when did he get so good-looking? Has the world gone topsy-turvy in eight years? I always thought Lance Bass would be the N*SYNC member to make it big.

"Speaking of Lance Bass... gay, hey?

"And I guess this whole "internet" thing has some staying power. Y'all are watching movies??? On your little screen? The dialup costs must be insane!

"My Nokia 3210 is still doing the job for me. The iPhone sounds pretty intense. Wow, it can fit THOUSANDS of songs on it?!?! That's ridiculous! AND it's got a touchscreen? And the internet?? WOW. I am living in the future, people.

"Australian Idol, hey? American Idol? Pop Idol? Yeah, okay, I can see that working.

"And I see the Balkans are still separating..."

"By the way, you guys have some of the best and some of the worst TV going round. Like Flavor of Love is on in the same year as The Wire? How does that work?

"A black guy for president?? and a woman for vice-president?? Where are all the old white guys???"

The year 2000 wasn't that long ago. But there's been a fair bit of change.