Christmas Wong Kresten: Dirty christmas carols

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Dirty christmas carols

Dirty christmas carols
“Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg...” may be the kind of dirty Christmas carol a kid sings during the holidays. But, the inner mischievous child in many people likes to come out during the season, perhaps as a rebellion against all of the cheerful good tidings! Or maybe more people simply find humor in recreating classic carols with naughty undertones. Whatever the reason, larger audiences are finding explicit holiday tunes top note on their playlists.

Dirty Christmas carols can be found every year popping up around the holidays - and through the year if you happen to like the artist that sings them. Face it, nothing's sacred anymore, and if it's not the traditional Christmas carols being butchered and four letter naughty words added to them, then it's original dirty Christmas carols being sung at the top of people's lungs.

You do realize that we're not talking about the 'Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg?' variety of dirty Christmas carols, right' You do know that we are talking about the Rodney Carrington 'Who put the d**k on the snowman' variations here. Adults tend to let their inner child out to play every so often and when you first hear the dirty Christmas carol come across your stereo speakers, you cannot help but to laugh as the shock value sets in. What's worse is that you know you enjoyed them so much that you're going to go look for more!

These are going to be the Christmas carols you sing for the rest of the season. These dirty little ditties are going to stick in your head and make you smile for no reason and have everyone wondering what is going on - or what you've been doing. Face it, you'll go looking for more because these things are addictive. You'll walk into the grocery or department store and hear the Christmas music playing - sorry folks, but starting to play carols on November 1 would make ANYONE sing dirty Christmas carols - and immediately you're mind is singing the alternate words. Hook, line, and sinker, you're mischievous inner child just popped out.

Of course there are many entertainers, actors, and television personalities that have helped dirty Christmas carols become more known and popular. Larry the Cable Guy has his own medley of naughty notes and even released a Christmas album that was definitely not your 'Bing Crosby sings White Christmas' fare. As a matter of fact, go to any music store during the holiday season and take a look at all the compact disks that are there. You are going to discover that close to a quarter of the selections are adult in nature.

Sacrilegious' No. Dirty Christmas carols are people's way of having a bit of adult oriented fun during the season. When you're stressed out from shopping and wondering how you're going to buy your child the new Wii-GameBoy-Xbox-Playstation999 gaming system that costs half a year's salary, dirty Christmas carols tend to help relieve the stress. Otherwise more people would go postal, including the dude wearing the little red suit. And tell me how red blooded American men are supposed to not think dirty thoughts and sing dirty Christmas carols when Santa's elves are this skinny little thing in dresses up to you know where'

Obviously you do not want your children hearing these nasty little songs. If they do, you may be driving up to the local elementary school and being harangued?okay chastised?by the principal. Not to mention having to explain to your child what d**k is. Or other parts of the human anatomy that is referred to by indecent language that a child shouldn't hear. Hey! Don't look at me! It's not my fault they heard you playing the dirty Christmas carols last night!