Anyway, down to business.
Buzzfeed has a page with a bunch of 90s reunions you wouldn't want to see. It reminded me of sheer diverse range of comedy options we had available to us:
Suddenly Susan - Brooke Shields in a wacky office.
Veronica's Closet - Kirstie Alley in a wacky office (at a lingerie company)
Caroline In The City - Lea Thompson in a wacky office (as a cartoonist).
I love that the cast of Suddenly Susan includes Richard Alpert from Lost!!! I expect his character was very very different... I can't remember if he was the gay one, or the lothario... and I can't be bothered checking it on Wikipedia.
Wait, I lied, I am bothered. He was the photographer, and I think that means he was the lothario, as gay sitcom characters have to have camp jobs. Ha! Sherri Shepherd was in the fourth and final season! Awesome!
But seriously, they were pretty bad. We are living in the Golden Age of Television.
Speaking of a seamless change of topic, check out this story:
A 72-year-old shop owner shot dead two men who tried to rob his store, sending another two fleeing, after he gave them a chance to walk away without any violence. They had already pistol-whipped an employee and refused to leave when Charles Augusto asked them to.
"I told them there wasn't any money. 'Take your gun, put it in your pocket, and go home.' They had a chance to leave," Augusto said.He has not been charged with anything, as his gun was properly registered. The two surviving robbers were arrested and will be charged.
But they didn't listen.
So Augusto, 72 -- known to most as "Gus" -- channeled his inner Dirty Harry and pulled out the Remington shotgun he had hidden under his desk for 20 years. He opened fire three times, peppering all four men with buckshot.
"I did what I had to do," he said. "It wasn't my choice; it was their choice."
I'm basically against gun ownership, because I think it leads to violent crime. I'm glad there are fewer guns in Australia than there were 10-15 years ago. Our gun crime rates and accidental gun death rates have fallen accordingly. I also think the sheer number of weapons in America is a testament to the stupidity of a Bill of Rights. We don't need one here in Australia, because who knows what "Right" might be taken to a ridiculous extreme in 200 years???Sitting at his desk in the middle of his shop, marred by bloodstains and with bullet holes in the windows, Augusto said he felt bad about what happened.
"I had to shoot them. It was a tough thing to do," he said. "I have to live with that. I'm sad that there are mothers and fathers who lost sons."
But Augusto's beaten employee -- who would only give his name as J.B. -- had little sympathy.
"S- - - went real bad for them, not for me," he said. "I'm breathing. They dead."
The 35-year-old had nothing but praise for his boss.
"I know Gus is a good dude. He's looked out for me since I was 19," he said. "He saved my life, man."
BUT, if I lived in certain parts of America, where guns were everywhere, I think I would own one. No point being a conscientious objector when you're dead.
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