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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Flirting with disaster

Recently I did a post on a friend who wasn't having a lot of luck with the ladies. It inspired me to see if there was a formula he could use to know whether a lady might be interested in him.

I have developed one.However, I fear it is so complicated, with so many variables, that it will prove useless to the common man. For that, I apologise.

(A number of these factors can be a plus or a minus to the end score, depending on the woman. For example, a good looking guy might get a plus score because he is attractive; or he might get a minus score because he is too attractive, and the woman feels she isn't pretty enough for him/he is out of reach. Another example: a guy can be charming (plus!) or too charming (minus).)

The formula that governs whether a woman will be attracted to a man the first time she meets him includes (but is not limited to) these factors:

1 - How attractive he is (plus or minus)
2 - How attractive he could be with a bit of work
3 - How charming he is in conversation (plus or minus)
4 - How nice his eyes are
5 - How pretty his smile is
6 - How bloated the woman is feeling at that exact point
7 - The woman's emotional state at that exact point
8 - The woman's previous romantic history
9 - The woman's most recent romantic liaison
10 - The woman's history with men who kind of remind her of this man (plus or minus)
11 - The woman's self image at that exact point (plus or minus)
12 - The woman's blood-alcohol content
13 - How the woman is feeling about her hair at that exact point
14 - How the woman is feeling about her outfit at that exact point
15 - Which friends the woman has with her
16 - Whether it is daytime or nighttime
17 - The woman's position in her menstrual cycle
18 - The woman's tendency to self destruct (plus or minus)
19 - Whether he is marriage material or not (plus or minus)
20 - The woman's level of self awareness about any of these factors (plus or minus)

Sure, I've missed out a fair few. But I think that covers most of the important ones.

So my advice to men is: there is no formula. Meeting women is not an engineering problem that can be solved with a logical approach. You kinda have to play it by ear. Good luck!

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