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Five types of Facebook updaters

1) The literalist. They use their status updates to actually reflect their current actions. Sometimes interesting, sometimes boring, these updates can help you get to know a bit more about someone's life. They can also just be dumb. Usually inoffensive though.
Eg: "Carly Johnson has finished baking a cake with sprinkles and is putting it in the oven."

2) The deliberately obtuse. They write updates that reflect how they're feeling, in ways that make no sense to the majority of their friends. These can quite often be funny, and usually attract a few comments.
Eg: "Dave Harrod is feelin' the love."

3) The quoter. Whether it's song quotes or movie quotes, they use them to show their knowledge of popular culture, while finding a balance between the recognisable and the played out. Quite often funny, somewhat less often clever, and occasionally downright embarrassing.
Eg: "Kelly Webb can be your wingman anytime."

4) The emo. Often going through a rough patch (which has lasted several years), they use their Facebook updates to garner responses like "You ok, honey?" or "hope it's going alright bro". People who are actually very sad do not update nearly as much as the emos.
Eg: "Gemma Dalton hurts very much... inside :("

5) The broken filter. These updaters combine a terrible understanding of spelling with the compulsive need to change their status more than five times a day. Often adding extra bits to their status message from an hour before, the broken filter is named so because there is no filter between their brain and their fingers on the keyboard.
"Eg: "Pete Wesczynski ate all da catfod!!1!! lol... but nt for fun. this time yeah lol"

There are other types of course. These are just five I've noticed. I fit into the quoter and the deliberately obtuse categories I think.