Benefits of being a cyclist:
- Don't have to pay for petrol
- Can claim to be a road user when it suits you, but also a pedestrian when it suits you. Best done at the same time
- Can weave in and out of traffic and expect cars to avoid you. Remember - it's their fault if they hit you after you've cut them off!
- Can cross red lights if you see no one is coming. Cars, on the other hand, have to obey the road rules. Suckas!
- Can make everyone feel guilty about not being as fit and environmentally conscious as you
- Can go as fast as you want, but whatever speed you choose, you will still get to frustrate drivers stuck behind you
- Get to wear tight pants that show off your toned thighs and snugly fitting underwear

Disadvantages of being a cyclist:
- Putting up with instant cycling experts once a year during le Tour de France
- Getting to work sweaty
- Every other road user hates you

Yes... any cyclist readers who disagree with me, please remember this is an opinion, and you don't have to agree with it. But you also don't have to hate me for it! Disagreements and hatred to not necessarily go hand-in-hand. Except in Guitar Hero. Where I disagree violently with the way they programmed Slipknot's song on Hard, meaning I can't pass the freaking level, meaning I hate Slipknot with a passion. More passion than I already hated them with. ANYWAY