Toolbox

Fast and Furious is coming out soon, and has been "re-tooled". That's right. They've changed the tools they had in the last couple of movies, to the tools they had in the first movie.

I wonder what other movies would be like if they were re-tooled...

The Dark Knight: Mindfreak
Criss Angel stars as Bruce Wayne in this re-imagining of Christopher Nolan's classic Batman story. Angel brings his own brand of mind-blowing magic to the Dark Knight's tale, including famous tricks such as making something disappear, and pushing a pencil up his nose. When Gotham City is taken over by a faceless corporation that ties up the city in red tape, Batman becomes obsolete. That is, until he realises it's the Joker (played by TV's Jimmy Fallon) up to his old tricks, trying to take over the city again. Batman, not to be outdone, decides to fight magic with magic, and turns the tide. When the final act comes, Batman is forced to pull a rabbit out of the hat to survive... and that rabbit is called Justice.


The Lord of the Rings: Return of the Street Kings
In this re-telling of the classic JRR Tolkien story, the action is shifted from Middle Earth... to the middle of Los Angeles! Starrng Vin Diesel as Navy SEAL-turned-motor-mechanic 'Aaron Gorn', LOTR:ROTSK is an all-out, balls-out adventure! When Gorn's girlfriend 'Frodo' (Aubrey O'Day) is kidnapped by the evil bikie chief 'Sour Ron' (Jay Leno), he turns to his mentor 'Grand Alf' (Gary Busey) and his English friend 'Leggy Lass' (Katie 'Jordan' Price) to save her. As they race across the Middle of Los Angeles in their hotted up street cars, Gorn learns the true nature of friendship. But will it be too late? The gang - The Fellows Hip - have to pull together and use their wits, sweet-ass cars, and love for each other, to get through. Strap yourself in for a thrill-busting ride - it's going to be Orcsome!


Pride! and Prejudice
Think you know Jane Austen? Think again! MTV's Bam Magera stars as "Mr Darcy", while Johnny Knoxville also stars... as Elizabeth Bennett! Featuring cameo performances from Ray Romano as Mr Bennett, Katy Perry as Jane Bennett and Kevin Federline as Mr Wickham, this film puts the "Pride" back into Jane Austen! The trouble starts when Lizzie Bennett and Mr Darcy go for a swim in the lake and get caught naked. Darcy is banished while Lizzie is sent to work in the family's pig farm, cleaning the pigs. Only a personal intervention (in the form of song!) from Jane and Mr Wickham can help Lizzie get Mr Darcy back. This summer, prepare to rethink all you know about prejudice... and pride.


Yay movies!