My Three Songs: 06/15/11

1. J. Geils Band - Centerfold
2. Bon Jovi - Runaway
3. Billy Idol - White Wedding

Theme: Hugh Hefner's wedding canceled. 25-year-old Crystal Harris, whom Hef was set to marry this Saturday, called the wedding off earlier this week.

Poor Hef. If only he had a place where he could find some other hot young blondes to choose from...

Oh yeah. Nevermind.

My Three Songs: 05/10/11

1. Billy Idol - White Wedding
2. Greg Kihn - The Breakup Song
3. J. Geils Band - Love Stinks

Theme: Divorce. My own divorce will be finalized in about 24 hours. Wish me luck... or whatever you wish people who are getting divorced.

Reason #235 to NOT get married: Tiger Woods

Wanna know what Tiger Woods' problem is?  It's not that he's a "sex addict" (the whole sex rehab thing is ridiculous anyway).  It's that he's married.

Wanna bang a different girl (or several different girls... or multiple girls at once) in every city on the PGA Tour?  Wanna send the dirtiest, filthiest, most lurid text messages imaginable?  Want to do it all and never have to worry about getting caught?

Then don't get married.  If you're not married, no one cares.  Tired of one blonde model?  Wanna nail a brunette one this time?  Or that cocktail waitress who says she has a sex swing in her bedroom?  If you're single, you can.  No wife at home means no one to take half your money when she finds out. And no reporter is going to think "Single Guy Gets Laid" will win him a Pulitzer.

Just ask somewhat douchey, but total poon-hound John Mayer.  He sums it up nicely here:
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/02/03/2010-02-03_john_mayer_tiger_woods_problems_come_from_him_being_married.html

But did he catch anything?

An Oregon man who was reported missing by his wife has turned up...

He and his wife had a fight in which she told him if he didn't like things, he could just leave. So he did.

For a week.

Fishing.

No big deal, except for the fact that he didn't tell anyone (especially his wife) where he was going, and police from three counties got involved in what became a missing persons case.

Check out the full story from The Oregonian here.

No word on whether he caught anything other than hell from his wife.

Why I never see the movies I want to see

I mentioned on the air today that I really wanted to see the movie Drag Me To Hell when it comes out this weekend, and that I haven't seen X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Terminator: Salvation or Star Trek yet, even though I really want to. But I did see Angels & Demons this week.

Then I got this email from listener Adam in Green Bay:
So, you chose to go to "Angels and Demons" over "Wolverine" or "Star Trek"? I think you lost some man points there. I've seen the two latter movies, and may see the former on disc. Not to sure, I was a huge fan of the book, and normally find it disappointing to watch the movies. Wolverine and Star Trek were awesome. You should really see them.

Thanks Adam. Yeah, I've lost some man points. But any guy who's married has probably had the same conversation that my wife and I had earlier this week:

Me: "Hey, let's see a movie tonight"
Her: "Sure, what's out"
Me: "What about Wolverine?"
Her: "Uh, no."
Me: "Star Trek is really supposed to be awesome."
Her: "I have no desire to see that."
Me: "Terminator Salvation?"
Her: [rolls her eyes]
Me: "How about Dance Flick?"
Her: "What??"
Me: "Just kidding. Angels and Demons?"
Her: "OK."

This is why my Netflix queue has over 200 movies in it. And why I probably won't actually see Drag Me To Hell this weekend. Oh well.

Chapter 53.3: Bah Humbug!

No, that's too strong, 'cause it is my favorite holiday.

It is beginning to feel a smidgen like Christmas. Perhaps it's the chill in the air or the news that Santa got waylaid somewhere over Denver and had to stop his time bending trip preparations with a layover in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Or maybe it's because I saw a small flake flash before my wandering eyes this morning as I got out of the PATH train station. Maybe it wasn't snow. Maybe it was a piece of windblown crud.

Or maybe it's because I'm about to get my Christmas wish: a couple hours off from work -- well, a few days, actually. But with the travel to see my loved ones and rip open a few presents and toss back a few beers, it'll feel almost like work. Almost. I'll have Tuesday.

No, what I'm looking forward to doing is mapping out a week of winter vacation to do whatever I want to do. At home. Cooking breakfast for my wife after making her late to her office (which is just a room away). Jogging more than 20 miles in a week -- in sunlight. And working on the novel. If I can finish the revisions in a week, it could be the second best vacation of my life -- after the one where I proposed to my wife, of course. At least I'd have an idea of how much work is needed. Then I could use my train commute to sketch out the next book or evaluate literary agents. That's work too, but it's future-focused work.

I'm reading Book Doctor on the train this week, by Esther Cohen. Funny. Some wonderful scenes and playful characters. Not as good as Ward Just's An Unfinished Season, which I finished earlier this week, but it moves along at a comfortable pace. I find myself wishing I knew someone like Arlette Rosen, the lead character in Book Doctor, who devises clever exercises to help writers see their characters and the focus of their books more clearly. I know what I'm writing; making it compelling seems to be my battle.

So I need another vacation. That's what I'm asking Santa for Christmas. Oh yeah, and an iPod.