My Query Synopsis

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I have decided to finally reveal a little about what I‘m writing. I‘ve finished my query synopsis, and it is posted below, but I‘ve snipped out three sentences that would be too revealing. Agents/publishers need a more detailed synopsis that would be spoilers for readers.

--> Tell the agent what your book is about, revealing the end if you have to, and don‘t leave the synopsis with only a clue.

Wishes really do come true! At least for sixteen-year-old Eva Jones, who lives with her obnoxious foster parents in New Jersey and wishes for nothing more than to escape to a different place. What Eva does not wish for, however, is being chased by ghosts, having eerie dreams, and waking up with a nasty spider with wings on her face.

Stuck in the fantasy world of Mira Fir, Eva encounters a deviously handsome and evil young man of the deadly Myrkvera race. She is presented with two choices: help the Ljosvera, casters of light and life, obliterate the few remaining Myrkvera or help the Myrkvera defeat the Ljosvera empress and take over the world.

Snipped out are two final sentences and one and a half in paragraph two.

The names Myrkvera and Ljosvera are Icelandic (Being of Darkness and Being of Light). I started jolting down ideas for the book in January 2006 and up until the summer of 2009, I still didn‘t know what to call the two races. So I chose these names while my brain was hurting, but I like them now. They describe the races perfectly.

I had five words describing Richard, but then I ended up cutting him out of the synopsis entirely. Yes, he‘s a big deal to Eva, but I found that mentioning him was unnecessary.

--> Choose only one to two characters for your query synopsis. It can get a little confusing if you have more.

There‘s obviously more to the whole novel, but this is the essential plot of this book (first of three...at least, I‘m sure I could write more from this world). I had a lot of fun with the world in the very first version of the manuscript, but then I had to chop out a lot to make the book more to the point (supposedly that‘s what publishers want). It‘s not a big deal though, I can always write a series of short stories later.

So, knowing that there are three sentences removed from the synopsis, what do you think? Does it grab attention? Is it confusing? ...Is the punctuation correct?...

Task for the day: Send out some query letters and take ten deep breaths!